why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
