i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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