I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
