Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
