best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
