is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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