is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
