i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
