Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
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