Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize