Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
