I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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