Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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