sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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