you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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