Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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