covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
