I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize