Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
