he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
