i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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