So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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