i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
