Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
