He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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