I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize