we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sobbing to NWA
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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