I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
