; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
