He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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