Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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