dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
