their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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