if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
