Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
