There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
