I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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