cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
