Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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