ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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