his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
