All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
