meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
