so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
