you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
