I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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