I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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