Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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