I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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