Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
