This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
