I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
