I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I love you. Go after that dick
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
