i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
