He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
