Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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