What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We need a shit load of segways right now
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
