Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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