New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
