Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
