dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
