So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
