Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
