I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
