you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize