he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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