In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
