Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
