Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
