you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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