Even the bartender felt bad for me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
